Feeling powerless and trapped, doing things you don’t want to do, is one of the worst feelings.
Have you been invited to go out with friends and told them, “I can’t go because I need to do something?”
It's common to provide them with a reason that you “have to do”, “should do” or “need to do” some other obligation. This view is particularly disempowering and will leave you feeling some sense of contracted energy or inner conflict.
The true objective reality is we don’t do something out of 'need', we do it out of 'want'. This is true with everything we do. We do it because we want to do it. On some level, we are choosing to participate in the experience, even though we believe we have no choice.
Let's illustrate it with a common example: You are low on food, so you decide it is important to purchase groceries at the market. When someone asks you to go out with them, you consciously or subconsciously make the decision that you want to pick up groceries more than you want to go out with them.
You don't tell them that. Instead, you say you can't do it and need to do something else. After all, your friends might feel offended if you told them you'd rather go to the grocery store than hang out with them. We place ourselves in a disempowered state that gives the appearance we have no choice.
'Want' is the key word here. You could go days more without groceries, however, you might not have the meals you want or your child might not have a school lunch. So, you decide on some level you 'want' to pick up groceries that night instead of hanging out with someone.
The express ticket to the most empowering experience is to eliminate the dispassion of going to the market by changing the words you use when you speak about it or think about it.
On most topics, there is inner conflict happening with two or more parts of us. This causes stress, worry, pain and suffering. It detracts from peace and feeling empowered.
In Five Accomplishments® Coaching, we guide you into building your Treasure Map to Your Soul, of all the conflicting parts within you that are causing even the least bit of dispassion or discomfort. Go on a treasure hunt to find the conflicting parts of you that resist owning the fact that you are choosing your reality.
Your simple but Big Step is anytime you find yourself saying that you “have to do”, “should do” or “need to do” something, change the words to “I want to do” it.
See how you feel. See how dispassion begins to dissolve and the difference it makes in your happiness.
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